‘SHEDMAGEDON’
A VISITOR
No one used Hazel’s official name, Hazel Qnuht: Conizen A5737. She was really fed up, not your usual sort of fed up till morning coffee with biscuits type of fed up, but proper all day, down in the dumps fed up. As far as she knew, she was the only one to say “No! No thank you, I will keep my allotment.” She felt very alone. What would happen to all the plants and trees, all the birds, the hodges, foxes and all the insects; to the creatures that shared the allotments? She decided to move into her shed and stay there fight to stop the Gmen, it was quite a risk.
The Gmen wanted to build more secluded luxury dwellings for themselves away from the Claves and the people there. This is why she really was fed up and angry. She had protested with no luck as all the remaining allotment holders had been promised new dwellings with all the latest furniture and gizmos. The Gmen kept a low profile running the city for the Coneductor and wore grey suits, no one else was allowed to wear grey or a suit.
Most, though not all of the conizens of Abrum5 were like Hazel, descendants of the people who lived on the land before the fenced off Abrum Cities were built, too many moons ago to count. She lived simply in a small house in one of the City’s Claves, and was happiest, not surprisingly, in her lovely allotment garden where she spends all her free time. This morning even though the sky was blue, the sun warm and her favourite Gilders with their red caps were twittering, she was too fed up to enjoy Khi, really fed up and angry too.
Khi is a special word used by Hazel and her people to show respect to those things that are neither male nor female. When something is male or female, we say `he` or `she`, otherwise we use `it`. In this story `it` is mostly replaced by `Khi`.
She had lovely fruit trees that blossomed in the spring, flowers for every season and grew delicious vegetables. There was her big blue shed with window boxes of flowers of every hue, a veranda to sit on and on the roof, special plants, we would call a green roof.
There were fifteen allotment sites spread around the city with five on the the south side of the sprawling city near to where Hazel lived. Each of these was fenced off, an oasis in a boringly uniform city. They occupied higher ground which, unbeknown to most conizens, was ancient sacred land. Not only that, other than the huge secret `garden` of the Coneductor they were the very last green spaces in Abrun5. Very few people wanted allotments. All their needs came from the city and green spaces were not for them, they had other things to occupy them. Most of the plots were slowly re-wilding, but the fruit trees thrived
She knew, long ago there were sacred sites where each allotment stood and no towns of cities in the lands of her ancestors. Long forgotten stories told of islands and beautiful freshwater lakes and now all the higher ground of the allotment sites were islands in the city. The history of the ancestors was forbidden and only kept alive by secret ancient songs and a few mythical stories handed down from generation to generation.
The Conizens, mainly older people and children, lived in Claves which were a bit like villages. Each Clave was independent, a block or grid of nearly identical neat dwellings, each with a front veranda, a strip of artificial grass, tables and chairs where neighbours could stop to meet and with a store shed out in the back yard. Each looked lovely, but pretty much everything was artificial, flowers, plants, trees. Almost everyone worked from home. There we no shops, you ordered everything you might want via your personal Tikk Block or TKB, as everyone called it, worn on your wrist.
Everything was then delivered either by Condrone or an underground tube system straight to each house. There was another tube for returns and or disposal to be conshipped for reuse and recycled. There were no big buildings, all less than three stories high. Each Clave has a Gatherhub rather like like a village square with a couple of Concaffs a bit like Coffee shops and a Concom community hall. The Concom was used for events like the 3-D Hyper-Real immersive experiences of things beyond the city so there was never a desire to leave their Clave let alone the city. If they did venture beyond their clave the city seemed to stretch for miles until it met the surrounding desert. Nobody went into the desert, it was not allowed and not safe, you would most likely die, besides everything you ever needed was in the city. The Conizens had everything they ever needed, except for the dreaded Units, they didn’t need those. Conizens who had to report there, like her dad, rarely returned. Hazel regularly got messages saying he was well, working on a project and missing them. There was no way of replying so evidently he didn’t know Hazel’s mum had become ill and had to seek help at the Unit where they told Hazel she had died. Hazel was on her own.
On the morning after Hazel moved in, with dew still on the grass, as she was greeting the sun a very old lady appeared on her plot. She wore a hooded cloak, as dark as midnight, pulled over her head and carried a long twisted wooden staff. Hazel had no idea how she got in past the locked gates. It was all very odd and a wee bit scary. The old lady came straight up to Hazel as if she knew her and without a greeting said “Good morning, I am thirsty and hungry, do you have anything, thank you.” Hazel went into her shed, made a cup of Teh, found a Conbar and a chair to rest upon. The old lady thanked her and asked why she looked so sad and Hazel told her what was happening.
“Don’t worry,” said the old lady “We can help.”
“That is so wonderful, but they are so very strong and we are just two.” Hazel wiped a tear from her eye.
The old lady took off her cloak and Hazel was able to see her properly. She wore a dress like bluebells in springtime, black hair like Hazel, but with distinctive streaks of white and deep green eyes that twinkled and seemed to look right inside you. Hazel stopped being afraid and smiled for the first time in weeks.
“You are not from round here, I think!” said Hazel
“No dear, I come from a far land of great beauty. There are wonderful rivers flowing down mountains, lush forests with colourful birds in the trees and many amazing creatures living happily with the people there.”
“Oh! that sounds fabulous, not like here.”
“No dear, not like here. I heard about what was happening and I have come to help.”
“When did you last paint your shed?”
Hazel was a bit surprised by the question and a little hurt as she had been busy trying to see off the Gmen and their plans.
“I have something here, leave it to me.” With that she took out a tiny green sparkly bottle that caught the sun throwing off rainbow flares of light. Hazel wondered if this woman might be a little, you know, a little bit bonkers. The old lady started to pull out the cork. A gorgeous long-lost scent like being in the middle of a bluebell wood filled the air and everything went very quiet as if time itself was standing still. Hazel felt like she was in a dream. When she blinked, the woman had gone except where she had been standing was a handkerchief and plait of grasses. Hazel looked around to see if she was still nearby, but she was nowhere to be seen. She picked up the grasses, which smelled wonderful, and the handkerchief, khi had writing on it.
`All will be well, look after Raven`
How weird she thought and straight away looked to the sky for a Raven might appear. She had never seen a Raven and wasn’t sure if there were any in the city. She knew the Blackbirds who lived in the hedge by the fence. She loved their song and warnings when foxes or hodges were about. She thought she would know a Raven because she learned as a girl, they were much bigger and strong important birds found in the stories. Nothing else happened in the rest of the day, she made herself comfortable, attended to her plot, it was too early for anything much to harvest so she did a bit of weeding and made a bed ready for sowing.
Tomorrow will be different, they will know she is in the shed and want to move her out, back to being a ‘good’ conizen like everyone else.
Glossary
Abrun: a large town like a city with numbers for names, so Abrun5 is City Number Five
Conizen: a citizen of the Abrun cities.
Qnuht: a nut
Clave: a block of houses and communal buildings, bit like a village.
Coneductor: the unseen director of the city responsible for all the running and rules
Gmen: short for Grey Men who worked directly for the Coneductor.
Hodges: small creatures
Tick Block or TKB: a multi-functional communication device worn and locked onto the wrist which could be taken off for sleeping, but with an alarm is too far from the wearer.
Condrone: A sophisticated aerial delivery system
Conshipped: removed from the city.
Gatherhub: a bit like a village square
Concaff: a coffee shop
Concom: a multi-functional community building
Teh: Tea
Conbar: an individual, bland, but nutritional food bar.
You will have noticed that some words to do with Arbruns and start with `Con` Most Conizens would leave the `Con` bit off many words, so Concaff becomes Caff though Conizen stayed the same. There is a logic to most of these `Con` words.
RAVEN
Hazel slept quite well only waking a couple of times in the night thinking about the strange morning she had yesterday.
Something was different, something was happening, but she didn’t know what it was yet .
She had her breakfast, but was still peckish, on her second biscuit when there was a tap, Tap, TAP, TAPPING on her door.
Not like a visitor, a person, SOMETHING MORE POWERFUL.
Trembling with fear she opened the door carefully and as she did a kindly, but gruff voice spoke
“Oh, come on! You have time to lose not.”
There was no one there.
Something or someone was tapping her right foot.
“We have work., said Raven.
You might think Hazel would have found this odd. For some reason she did not.
Raven was bigger than she imagined, strong with a very large beak, glossy feathers black as midnight, shaggy ‘trousers’ and a long tail shaped like a mans tie. He was extremely handsome. “Long flight. Up me pick. To middle, carry if you please.” he said ruffling his feathers. Hazel did as she was told. Everything looked like it did when she greeted the morning. In the middle Raven let out a loud deep Cronk which sent shivers down Hazels back right into her bones.
Something stirred, seemingly starting to move, stretching like after a long sleep. She must have imagined it, but for a moment she thought it was the sheds. She shook her head and turned her attention to Raven.
“Good.” said Raven “First done bit!”
“Put down, your turn. Pick up stick, ground in push.”
Hazel hadn’t noticed the old lady’s stick. She picked Khi up and felt a surge of warm energy. As she pushed the stick into the ground Khi was vibrating which seemed to travel down, down into the ground at her feet. Creatures started to come to the surface as if to see what was going on.
“Now go you out, hands shake to everyone. Smile, if smile hug give . Clear that is?” Hazel nodded.
“Good, will stay make sure no one in gets. Go! Back before dark.”
Hazel went back to her shed, Khi seemed even more welcoming than usual, collected some food which she put in her bag with a bottle of water and went out to do as she had been instructed.
She headed for the gate which was still locked. She opened it and locked Khi behind her.
Ravens voice spoke in the air “Get in now, only you!”
The sounds and smells of the city hit her like a sad wave about to break. As she entered the first Clave, Bryan (He likes it pronounced ‘Bree-an’ but every one calls him Brian) was coming towards her. Even from a distance she recognised him with his groomed looks, stylish clothes and his catwalk of small steps. You would not have thought Bryan was one of the ones who would want or enjoy an allotment.
It was no surprise to Hazel that he was very happy to let his allotment go with the promise of a new house. Hazel shook his hand. Bryan found that strange and didn’t smile. He was angry with Hazel for her protest. However he did like her, so he wasn’t going to be rude.
“Hi, Hazel. I thought you were holed up in your shed. Have you given in?”
“Not at all, No one can get into the allotments so I’m bringing the protest to the streets.”
“Good luck with that!”
He walked away holding onto his sour face, got on a Slickmobile and sped off.
She wasn’t surprised. Bryan was one of those shallow scratcher in the earth sort of growers. He only got the allotment when it was fashionable and something to show off. Hazel didn’t think he was the unpleasant sort, but you never know.
Like most everybody Hazel worked from home with a so-called graphic arts company. It was really just about keeping the Coneductor happy promoting the latest ideas on all his TKBs.
A TKB was like a bracelet, Hazel hated them, everyone had to wear them all the time, khi was locked on your wrist and could not be taken off except for sleeping and then the alarm would go off if you move away from it.. Unless khi got too tight, you would have then to go to the local Unit for a larger size. You would also get a message to go there if you broke a rule. The Coneductor made the rules. She was half expecting to be called in for staying in her shed. She hadn’t checked her TKB today, when she did, khi was gone. Instead there was a sweet sweet-smelling bracelet braid of grasses just like the ones on the ground with the handkerchief. This could get her into very big trouble, but the day was seriously weird and she had stopped worrying.
Which was also worrying , in a strange way ; if you see what I mean.
Hazel walked on into the clave where she lived until she reached the next corner where one of the many human looking robots called a condroid stood. They would tell she had no TKB, she would be stopped and taken to the Unit, but no! Weirdly the condroid turned and held out khis hand to shake and then smiled. Hazel remembered Ravens instructions and gave khi a hug, much to the amazement of the people around. The condroid spoke, “Ravens rule.”
Never in all her years had Hazels flabber been so gasted. Sorry, my little joke – flabbergasted. Hope you liked it! Condroids were basically meant to serve the Coneductor and whilst they had sophisticated contell artificial intelligence, looked human, though they were not supposed to react as a human would. Seriously weird. Soon a small crowd gathered and wanted to shake hands with Hazel. Some didn’t smile but all the others Hazel hugged. Nothing was said and the crowd went off and Hazel saw them shaking the hands of all they met and giving hugs to those who smiled. Hazel remembered stories of people becoming unwell and passing it on to others. This was like that she thought only in a good way. She was by a Concaff so she went in to sit and have a snack. The woman at the counter pointed to her own TKB, pointed at Hazels wrist with the grass braid and gave her a thumbs up and they shook hands. She came round and they hugged. The next thing everyone else stood up shook hands and hugged. Then they all clapped. Hazels flabber was gasted for the second time. The rest of the day was fine. She shook hands with everyone she met and hugged those who smiled and watched as they started doing the same spreading out through the city.
By now it was beginning to get dark so she hurried back to the allotment and let herself in, Raven greeted her in the middle
“You back, Now job little I have. Rest, I back morning.” With that he flew off into the darkening sky.
She turned to go to her shed and for a moment couldn’t believe her eyes, A stunningly beautiful Hazel tree with twisty corkscrew branches stood where she had pushed the vibrating stick into the ground. Khi had grown, she walked round the tree. Khi had every season, there were bare winter branches with buds, moving round into spring with long yellow catkins then summer green leaves, next autumn colours of red, yellow and gold, covered in fat nuts waiting to be picked.
You might have thought her flabber would be gasted again, but strange things were no longer affecting her flabber. Last of the flabbergast jokes, ok, promise.
She stood till the moon rose and she could see her way to her shed. A white Barn Owl flew silently over her head and perched on the tree. She had never seen a Barn Owl and was amazed. She walked toward her shed now and with a soft screech the owl flew ahead of her and landed on the roof welcoming her back. A magical end to her day.
Slickmobile: a bit like an electric scooter that anyone could use only within their Clave. They didn’t need charging
Unit: each Clave had a Unit, a cross between a local town hall and a police station where the Conizens would go on official matters.
Condroid: a humanoid robot serving the Coneductor on the streets. Each Clave having their own particular recognizable Condroids
Contell: the Artificial Intelligence which made the Condroids sound and behave like humans.
Waking the Baby 